Privacy? HA!

I don’t know why people are so het up about privacy issues on Facebook. Living as Jack and I do in a town of five thousand, we know there is no such thing as privacy. Never has been, not for us rural dwellers, anyway.

In a small town, when you pass the grocery store (THE grocery store) you can tell by the license plates or car makes who is shopping there. Same with the liquor store. Or any other {ahem} establishment a body might frequent. Go to the doctor at 11, and by 5 pm someone from your church calls to find out what’s wrong with you.

That’s why pastors have parishoners buy their hard stuff. That’s why teachers drive to the state line to buy lingerie. That’s why Jack and I gave up on selling addiction recovery books in our shop.

In a small town, what your child did to get in trouble at school makes it home before s/he does. The poor kid gets it twice, because during lunch the school nurse, who happens to be your sister’s worst enemy, calls HER sister to gloat about whatever it was, and five minutes later her sister has told her friend who has told another friend who happens to be your pastor’s wife…..

The other day, I checked a book of folktales out of the library; it was titled “The Rat Catcher’s Daughter.” When our termite control man showed up to do his monthly routine a couple of days later, he said, “You know, we take care of rodents, too.”

“We don’t have a problem with them. Never seen one. Must be the staff cats,” my husband replied.

The man winked. “Sure, right, but if Wendy’s thinking she can catch them herself, it’s not much more money to have mice and rats in your contract, and they’re hard work. Don’t worry; we’ll be discreet.”

Jack gave him a blank look. Turns out his wife volunteers at the library, saw me check out the book with the misleading title, and noted it to her husband, knowing we were his customers. Jack showed Tom the folktale collection. They had a good laugh. All in a day’s small town living.

And y’all are worried about Facebook? Puhleaze….



Filed under Big Stone Gap, folklore and ethnography, humor, small town USA, Uncategorized, VA

8 responses to “Privacy? HA!

  1. As funny as it sounds it is so not funny. We have the same issues here all the time. Oh well maybe it gives them the drama they need on a daily basis.

  2. Wendy, not only am I anxiously awaiting your current book, I am equally awaiting your NEXT… these blogs just tickle me so! Your take on life is just so unique. Perhaps other mortals have equally hilarious experiences, but most of us don’t have the gift for sharing it that you do!

  3. Eva

    Very funny…and true!

  4. Irene

    Oh dear. Did my mother ever tell you that I worked for a summer in a video store in Appalachia? Probably not. She probably never realized that it was “that kind of video store”. But calling someone up a dozen times reminding them to return “Hung Like a Horse XXX Part 6” is the very definition of small town awkwardness.

  5. online Pets

    Hello there! Do you use Twitter? I’d like to follow you if that would
    be ok. I’m undoubtedly enjoying your blog and look forward to new updates.

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