In which Owen Meany, Staff Kitten, Introduces Himself

Hi! I’m Owen Meany, staff kitten here at Tales of the Lonesome Pine Used Books and Internet Cafe. This is my human mum’s blog, but she was very tired today and said I could do it, if I promised to pay close attention to my spelling. (We have been working hard on foniks this week.)

My job here at the bookstore is to make the customers feel happy. I let them pick me up and rub my tummy and nuzzle me with their faces. I don’t mind; most of the people who shop here smell nice–like meat, or candy.

There are a lot of kittens here, more than I have paws, so I don’t know how many that is. They are all looking for homes. I came here with a group of kittens looking for a home, too, but I just kept quiet and worked really hard at learning to use the box and keeping my fur clean and bright-white. I also learned a nice way of meowing very quietly that Mum says is endearing. So I got to stay.

Mostly all the kittens go away again, to a place where they get tutored or played, Mama says, and then they go to live with someone who wants to give them a nice home. All the kittens get named after famous books or famous characters. There’s been a Bronte series, and a Harry Potter series, and a Louis Gibbons series, and a lot of others. The kittens right now are “Shades of Grey,” because they’re all grey, I guess.

We have a lot of bookshelves here, which is fun because if I’m careful I can squeeze over the tops of the books between the shelves. It’s like a secret tunnel system through the shop. I run through the tunnels and jump out into customers’ laps when they’re sitting down looking at the books. Once I did this and a lady screamed so loud Mama came running. The lady was not pleased. I think it had something to do with the sign above her head: “P-A-R-A-N-O-R-M-A-L R-O-M-A-N-C-E-S.” Mama says I will get tutored soon, so not to worry about what R-O-M-A-N-C-E-S spells.

I like it here at the bookshop; every day I make the rounds to be sure everything is tidy. If there are bits of fluff or fur on the floor I bat them away. I also keep the shop dogs in line; someone has to! And then when we open I run around the customers and make them happy. It’s a very good life, being a bookstore staff kitten. I hope my friends back at the shelter get a good life like this one!



Filed under Big Stone Gap, folklore and ethnography, humor, small town USA, Uncategorized, VA

2 responses to “In which Owen Meany, Staff Kitten, Introduces Himself

  1. Do you think that Owen needs a mate? I’m a bit older, but I understand that May/December pairings often work out well.

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