Warning: May Contain Nuts (for the next two weeks)

Dear Regular Blog Readers: do not be alarmed. As Jack and I prepare for a two-week vacation in Istanbul, my friends the Guerrilla Grammar Girls (you can find them thanked in the back of Little Bookstore) are keeping the blog up to date. When Jack and I return we will have vacation stories galore and more fun from our shop floor, too. Meanwhile, let the girls’ high jinks entertain you. Starting with Elissa, who really enjoyed the recurring theme of “you’re nuts” in the opening chapters of Little Bookstore.

Today’s is a test post: the contract with the GGGs actually starts next Wednesday, but I urged Elissa yesterday to “just check the system out.” I regret this now. Rest assured the girls have promised not to do anything illegal. However, they never mentioned lewd–an oversight on my part when drawing up the contract…. and now, Elissa:

I like nuts. I cannot lie. My co-workers also cannot deny (this). But we like wet nuts.

As a matter of fact, the general consensus across the office is: We’d rather have NO nuts, than to only have dry nuts. Dry nuts are a disappointment to men and women alike. Dry nuts get stuck in your teeth. Wet nuts are smooth and extra sweet.

Vive Graines Humides!

 nuts

This has been a post of the “Elissa has your login information Broadcasting System”

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13 Comments

Filed under book reviews, humor

13 responses to “Warning: May Contain Nuts (for the next two weeks)

  1. Susan

    Funny! And I agree, too!

  2. I prefer dry nuts, but know my mom likes hers wet. My childhood Dairy Queen used to question loudly on the drive-through speaker, “Do you want your nuts wet or dry?” We teenager daughters would giggle every time as mom would answer, “I like my nuts wet, thank you.” Then we would all laugh hysterically and drive around to pick up our nuts. 😉

  3. Laura Taylor

    Finally, something of great importance is addressed on this blog! I’ve been plagued for years with hiding my secret preference of wet nuts. It is such a relief to know I’m not alone….and, that I can talk now discuss it openly. 🙂

  4. Laura Taylor

    that is, if I could complete a sentence correctly…..

  5. Tamra

    According to my allergist, I am allergic to nuts, so I must have no nuts, wet or dry. Alas, a life without nuts is a life unlived…

  6. As long as the nuts are in butterscotch sauce, preferably heated before being poured on ice cream….

  7. The “wet nut/dry nut” phrase must be a regional thing because I have never heard it here in CA. I can sure understand the giggles that Heather commented about. Your store-sitters are going to be fun to read!

  8. Gail

    I recently found out what wet nuts are .I was at the hair salon and an at- least-60-something year old woman explained the fine points of wet nuts. She said if you go to Sweet Frog, you have to know about wet nuts! I’m with Tamra, however, allergic to nuts! I DO know what I’m missing. Also allergic to chocolate and tea! Ready for that Great-Upper-Taker any time. My life here is over.

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