BEST PICK-UP LINES IN A BOOKSTORE RESULTS

It took us a few extra weeks, but these are worth the wait…. (drum roll please – no, nix that and strike a blast on a kazoo.)

ANNOUNCING THE WINNERS OF THE GREATEST PICK-UP LINES HEARD IN A BOOKSTORE CONTEST:

Best of show – Kelley Pearson, for her combined use of great literature and sexual innuendo:

I see you’re a Poe fan. So am I! How about you come “rap, rap, rapping on my chamber door” around seven tonight? I will serve you some of my “Amontillado” and if “The Imp of The Perverse” is in spirit, you can show me your “pit” and I will show you my “pendulum”?

Since Kelley is the owner of SECOND STORY CAFE, and therefore a bookstore employee, she is disqualified. However, it is a great line!

So here are the other winning entries:

Second place in combined innuendo and literature: MA Williams, for:

Hey, babe. You know, that Darcy dude really got a bum rap. Wanna rewrite some chapters with me?

Nice touch, MA – appeals to the literary heart and the libido. PM us your address.

Smoothest line – James Ryan’s WOW! This bookstore is magical. I just made a wish and there you are.”

We know where you live, James. Be afraid….

Voted most likely to work – Lacy’s I’d love to catch you in my rye.”

Lacy, send us an address!

Voted most likely to work only in New England – Mark Seaton, withI’m not usually this forward, but I couldn’t help but notice your amazing table of contents. And if you are in concordance, I believe all indices favor that our meeting not be a mere footnote, but rather, a co-authored magnum opus.”

Mark, PM us your address and we’ll send you a copy of Jack’s Scots Traditional music CD. And we promise not to tell the police where you are.

Voted most likely to get you slapped – Stacy Baker’s  “Do you breed here – um, I mean, READ here often?”

We’d like to thank the other entries–some of which might get us arrested, so if you want to look at them, scroll down to the Sept. 9 blog and read for yourself. A word to the wise: don’t drink anything while reading; you’ll wind up spitting it on the keyboard.

Last but not least, thanks to “Rosemary Beddington’s Husband” for the worst entry ever: Oh, is that “Gone with the Wind” you’re reading or did you just fart?

*shakes head* Dude…….

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6 Comments

Filed under Big Stone Gap, humor, small town USA, Uncategorized

6 responses to “BEST PICK-UP LINES IN A BOOKSTORE RESULTS

  1. Ha, ha! I can’t wait to tell my hubby he won last place! I won’t say I told him so! 🙂

  2. Ha! I loved the one about most likely to get you slapped.

  3. myvizza

    WOW, A little late getting back to my email and I find this most pleasant surprise. I reckon as soon as I get the CD, I will be taking it on a road trip. I’m thinking New Hampshire maybe. Shhhhhhh. Thanks much !!!!! ♥

  4. Why only in New England? I’m from the South and I got it.

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