It took us a few extra weeks, but these are worth the wait…. (drum roll please – no, nix that and strike a blast on a kazoo.)
ANNOUNCING THE WINNERS OF THE GREATEST PICK-UP LINES HEARD IN A BOOKSTORE CONTEST:
Best of show – Kelley Pearson, for her combined use of great literature and sexual innuendo:
I see you’re a Poe fan. So am I! How about you come “rap, rap, rapping on my chamber door” around seven tonight? I will serve you some of my “Amontillado” and if “The Imp of The Perverse” is in spirit, you can show me your “pit” and I will show you my “pendulum”?
Since Kelley is the owner of SECOND STORY CAFE, and therefore a bookstore employee, she is disqualified. However, it is a great line!
So here are the other winning entries:
Second place in combined innuendo and literature: MA Williams, for:
Hey, babe. You know, that Darcy dude really got a bum rap. Wanna rewrite some chapters with me?
Nice touch, MA – appeals to the literary heart and the libido. PM us your address.
Smoothest line – James Ryan’s “WOW! This bookstore is magical. I just made a wish and there you are.”
We know where you live, James. Be afraid….
Voted most likely to work – Lacy’s “I’d love to catch you in my rye.”
Lacy, send us an address!
Voted most likely to work only in New England – Mark Seaton, with ” I’m not usually this forward, but I couldn’t help but notice your amazing table of contents. And if you are in concordance, I believe all indices favor that our meeting not be a mere footnote, but rather, a co-authored magnum opus.”
Mark, PM us your address and we’ll send you a copy of Jack’s Scots Traditional music CD. And we promise not to tell the police where you are.
Voted most likely to get you slapped – Stacy Baker’s “Do you breed here – um, I mean, READ here often?”
We’d like to thank the other entries–some of which might get us arrested, so if you want to look at them, scroll down to the Sept. 9 blog and read for yourself. A word to the wise: don’t drink anything while reading; you’ll wind up spitting it on the keyboard.
Last but not least, thanks to “Rosemary Beddington’s Husband” for the worst entry ever: Oh, is that “Gone with the Wind” you’re reading or did you just fart?
*shakes head* Dude…….